Unanswered Prayer

Perhaps there is no aspect of Christian faith that is so puzzling to many as that of unanswered prayer.


Almost all the problems in prayer are a result of ignorance of the nature of prayer. Prayer is a mysterious thing to many, and, because they do not understand it, they make experiments in the realm of prayer. But these sometimes do not turn out, and many have lost faith in prayer because, not having a proper understanding of the nature and purpose of prayer, their prayers have gone unanswered. They conclude that prayer is a failure, and God himself is a failure.

Prayer is a simple thing. It does not appear very difficult or complex and it is available to the simplest of people. Even children can pray, and pray very successfully, very effectively. Yet the understanding of the nature of prayer is infinitely complex and requires some considerable knowledge before prayers are answered regularly.

And this is the confidence which we have in him,
that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.
And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask,
we know that we have obtained the requests made of him.
(1 John 5:14-15 RSV)

For many Christians prayer is a venture, an experiment. There is nothing very certain about it. We often pray because we do not know what else to do. Who of us has not at one time or another said, "Well, things have gotten so bad there's nothing else to do but pray," as though that were the final and last resort. 

But what is John’s reaction to this matter of prayer? . . . "This is the confidence which we have in him," he says, "that if we ask anything according to his will, we know he hears us."

There is a great and ringing note of certainty there. PRAYER IS not an experiment; PRAYER IS a certainty, a sure thing. We know it works, and we know how it works. That confidence is expressed by the word John chooses – ‘boldness’. "This is the boldness which we have in him; we know that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us."

There are many people who regard prayer as some kind of mysterious device by which human beings get God to do what we want him to do, a kind of Aladdin's Lamp which, if we rub it in the right way, will cause the great Genie of heaven to appear and give us our requests. God becomes a kind of heavenly bellboy rushing to our aid when we push the button of prayer. It is this concept which has resulted in some of the frightful perversions of prayer.

There are some who make arrogant, blasphemous demands upon a patient and long-suffering God, commanding him to do things which they insist are their ‘right’ to ask, though it is very evident that God is regarded as a junior partner in their life and their business relationship. But that is not prayer and never was prayer!

Prayer is a means of obtaining the will of God, and is limited always by the will and purpose of God. If we pray outside His purpose, there is no assurance at all that our prayers are heard, and certainly not that they will be granted. Sometimes our prayers are not according to the will of God because our motives are wrong. Sometimes we pray, "amiss, in order to consume it upon our own lusts," (Jam. 4:3b KJV). We want what we want, not what God wants. 

Here is a wedding prayer of a girl praying on her wedding day that illustrates how subtly this can be done:

Dear God. I can hardly believe that this is my wedding day. I know I haven't been able to spend much time with You lately, with all the rush of getting ready for today, and I'm sorry. I guess, too, that I feel a little guilty when I try to pray about all this, since Larry still isn't a Christian. But oh, Father, I love him so much, what else can I do? I just couldn't give him up. Oh, You must save him, some way, somehow.

You know how much I've prayed for him, and the way we've discussed the gospel together. I've tried not to appear too religious, I know, but that's because I didn't want to scare him off. Yet he isn't antagonistic and I can't understand why he hasn't responded. Oh, if he only we're a Christian.

Dear Father, please bless our marriage. I don't want to disobey You, but I do love him and I want to be his wife, so please be with us and please don't spoil my wedding day.

That sounds like a sincere, earnest prayer, does it not?
But if it is stripped of its fine, pious language,
what it is really saying is something like this:

Dear Father, I don't want to disobey You, but I must have my own way at all costs. For I love what You do not love, and I want what You do not want. So please be a good God and deny Yourself, and move off Your throne, and let me take over. If You don't like this, then all I ask is that You bite Your lip and say or do nothing that will spoil my plans, and let me enjoy myself.

Prayer that lies outside the will of God is an insult to God. As the Psalmist has said, "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me," (Psalms 66:18 KJV).

Prayer must be according to God's will - in the direction God is going and with a view to obtaining the purposes He intends. As Romans tells us, the Spirit of God helps us in our infirmities by prompting our desires, by creating deep urges within us, unutterable yearnings, hungering after more of the real life that satisfies, not only for ourselves, but for others. So, the Spirit is our Helper that we might pray according to His will. 

PRAYER IS coming before God on this basis - knowing that He hears us and grants it, all we need say is, "Thank you, Lord." If you will notice in reading the Gospels, that is what the Lord Jesus is always doing. Everywhere He goes it is simply, "Thank you, Father. Thank you for this, thank you for that. I know that you have heard me; I know that you have done this. Thank you." His life was one of continual giving of thanks, and that is what we are expected to do: "giving thanks in all things, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you," (1 Thessalonians 5:18)